There were myriad moments in my life that made me difficult to forget. The moment when I failed the university admission exam, the moment I didn’t win a competition, and the moment when I lose some precious stuffs that belong to me.
They were full of bad experience indeed. Not only because they were “pricey”, but also those stuff no longer could support me to run the day and the future. These are some stories I’m trying to recall that gave me immense lessons in life.
I’m not sure to what extent the lessons have contributed to shape who I am today. But, the failure and loss as the result when I dropped the ball are something that I can’t avoid in any way.
The Very First Loss
Back in 2013, when I was in my senior year of high school, the motorcycle that I used to commute every had got stolen. This occurred when I went to an internet shop (warnet) to do some stuff regarding the project, blogging, and etc. Heading to the parking lot, I couldn’t find anymore the motorcycle which brought me here. I panicked. I started crying. I didn’t know what to do. A typical teenage boy who was irresponsible to everything, I guessed.
The Second: Loss in Paris
The second one happened, back then in 2018, it was winter when Antonio -my Erasmus friend- and I traveled to Paris for five days and four nights. It was fun and memorable trip as I met some other gorgeous Italians folks too. Long-story short, in the fourth day after wandering around Arc de Triomphe, I found out that my phone was no longer in my coat’s pocket.
I guessed that it’s gone in less than a minute after leaving the super-packed metro at Charles de Gaulle–Étoile station. A while after that, I started suspected someone who stole my phone was a guy that surpass me when leaving the metro, and could easily grab my old-xiaomi-phone when we passed each other into different direction.
To be frank, it’s not just about the mobile phone, it’s a matter of some other important data in it. That mobile phone might have cost me $150, but the journey it went with me was worth every penny. In addition, the flight ticket, my portuguese mobile banking, my notes for the project assignment have been lost in access as well.
Fortunately, Antonio was super helpful and got my back.
The Third Loss and The Sacrifice
A year after that Paris’ tragedy, I was already back home, precisely in Banjarmasin, Indonesia. It was April 2019, when I decided to participate in PPAN (Youth Exchange) selection that took place in my hometown. Beforehand, I was sort of dilemma between focusing on my thesis or taking another opportunity. But at the end, you already knew what I eventually chose. I even flew from Surabaya to Banjarmasin twice due to alteration of the schedule.
The selection itself took a week comprised of some assessment such as written test, panel interviews, art & cultural performance, leaderless group discussion, and final interview. It took weeks for me to prepare all the stuff required for this selection but one single day kind of failed all of those preparations.
On the last day of the selection, the remaining participants (approximately 10 people), had to arrive at 6AM in order to get the agenda on schedule. Thus, I woke up quite early to prepare myself, ate some breakfast, dress well, read some news in case to be asked during the final interview. But one thing that I forgot at that shitty morning that I had to bring the traditional costume for the performance!
As I was hurry in order to be punctual, I quickly ordered a motorcycle-ride to take me to the venue and as soon as the ride came, I hopped on with a huge violin case with me. Not so long after the ride, the heavy rain fell. Because I didn’t want to be soaking wet at the venue, so I asked the driver to find a shelter and waited until the rain stopped.
When I grab my backpack to take my phone out, it apparently wasn’t there. My pocket was empty as well. How about my violin case? It wasn’t there too. I stressed out. While the time was ticking, I still had to figure out where my phone was. How about my performance? How about the traditional costume? How about my e-money and other personal stuff on the phone? Those thoughts pretty much rattled me a lot.
I spent roughly two hours just to locate where my damn phone was and ended up nothing. Afterwards, I decided lo leave without knowing where my phone was. Because if I gave up on the selection, it meant that I lost everything I did for the previous couple of days.
The Recent Loss and The Fraud
The most recent loss that I encountered was yesterday. I didn’t know how to react. It happened rapidly that I wasn’t even conscious whether it was my mistake, or somebody else’s. I don’t want to narrate the tragedy in details. The thing is, there’s this guy, who did a fraud to my account and made me a great loss nearly $700. It’s the most expensive thing I ever lost for during my entire life together with the loss of my brother’s motorcycle.
Again, I need time to be able to accept this unpleasant moment. That’s why I don’t elaborate this recent loss as I did for the previous stories happened long time ago.
Being careful is a must
In daily basis, I frequently couldn’t see the forest for the tress. I too much focused on details and forget to be aware that I still have to look from the big picture. When it comes to a difficult or demanding situation, I think that being fully conscious and aware is a must.
I know it is hard to let something that you have worked your ass off to just disappear or being shifted to an undeserved one. However, I believe that everything happens for a reason.
Given the circumstances, none of the losses have scared me more than that the loss of ideas did. Because I knew that a life without ideas would have been the most terrifying thing of all time. The worst scenario, I would no longer can plan my future, I no longer can think creatively, and I no longer can relieve myself if this kind of issues come up ever again.
Time surely heals
I do still believe that time heals all wounds. Because everything that belongs to us is merely temporary gift.